Congratulations on your engagement! Now to the planning! There are so many questions when it comes to planning a wedding from what dress you are going to pick out to the desserts at the reception.
“Bringing two families together for a wedding can be very stressful on a couple. What advice do you have for any bride and groom to avoid family drama on the big day?”
With so many family members all in one place on the day of, there are certainly lots of personalities and opinions! If you are worried about a particular person overstepping their boundaries, it’s a good idea to let your planner know about it ahead of time. That way, we can help keep an eye on them, and make sure that nothing is distracting you from celebrating your big day! More importantly though, don’t stress about others, and instead focus on the true purpose of the day; marrying the love of your life, and celebrating each other!
-Kyleigh Hanes, En Vogue Events
My advice to any couple would be: Just as much of an important day for the two of you, it is equally important to your families. Often times they have waited many years for this special moment. As much as they might drive you nuts with small, seemingly insignificant details, they just want the day to be a perfect as you are! Make sure to include the opinions and ideas of family members so they feel like an important piece of the whole weekend!
-Sarah Bett, Events by Sarah
There is so much happening the day of a wedding it can be overwhelming and stressful, but the most stressful thing and the most exciting can be uniting two families together. Sometimes this is the first time everyone is together and it can be very intimidating and uneasy, but something very important everyone needs to remember is that it’s not the parents day, or the cousins and aunts and uncles… it’s a special day announcing and celebrating the love of two people. The best advice I can give to families and couples as a wedding planner is to remember it’s their day and nobody else’s. You all came together for the same reason, to celebrate love, and sometimes you have to be firm in reminding people this, to bring everyone together.
-Deja Rogers, Deja Renee Events
Our advice for dealing with family drama is to try and resolve it BEFORE wedding day. As uncomfortable as it can possibly be, having a sit down meeting and hashing out issues that could arise on wedding day is the best approach. We often find that just a talk with divorced parents who might not get along or siblings who are feuding is enough to have them be on their best behavior on the big day. Reminding them that the day is about you as the couple and not about them will usually be enough to keep the peace.
We as planners always ask if there are sensitive family issues that we need to be aware of so that when it comes time to create the seating arrangements for the ceremony and the reception and even family photo groupings, we know how to best handle those situations with care. More often than not, families are on their best behavior and are there to love and support the couple. They tend to leave their drama for another day!
-Amy Rodriguez, All Things Planned
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My advice to my couples is that this is YOUR wedding day, and you should have your wedding the way the both of you want it. This is a special day and important time in your life, and you don’t want to remember it with family drama. -
Have a conversation about your guest list and seating arrangement for your families. Who are the relatives that have children? Do we want kids at the wedding?
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Discuss the family dynamics. Are their relatives that maybe recently divorced or separated and can’t stand to be in the same room as each other? Think about whether or not to seat them next to each other.
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Think about if you want to serve alcohol at the wedding. Are there any family members that may not handle themselves accordingly when alcohol beverages are served? Consider setting a limit on drinks per person.
These are the questions I tell my couples to think about before mailing invitations. Eliminating all drama is almost impossible depending on the families, but with proper planning, it can be a seamless and peaceful wedding.
I always remind my couples that your wedding day is a day where you are surrounded by the love and support of friends and family that YOU want to be there to witness your union. Don’t feel obligated to invite family members that you don’t want to be there just because they are family. Drama free equals stress free, and a stress- free wedding equals a happy Bride and Groom. This is a day you will remember for the rest of your life. Make sure it is exactly what you want.
-Calandra Jacobs, Agape Creations
Ultimately, each and every wedding day is all about the bride and groom although many family members seems to forget that. Adorn Vintage’s Wedding Coordinator, Erica Eskridge says;
“It’s important to remind the couple’s family that this wedding day is about the bride and groom. I can remember a couple that had completely different backgrounds and traditions but the bride and groom made a specific choice to tell all the family how much they loved each other. Then they requested/demanded that everybody only expresses love on there big day because love conquers all.”
-Erica Eskridge, Wedding Coordinator, Adorn Vintage
Every family has their ups, downs and frictions. The most important thing is for the newlyweds-to-be to focus on communicating now. You are both about to adopt each others families, this includes the loving, not-so-loving and estranged family members. Communication is incredibly valuable in every aspect of life. Learning to communicate as a united front through potential issues that arise will help ensure your new journey together starts off with a solid foundation.
-Heather Johnson, Epoch Co Events
Solving Family drama on the wedding day, sometimes just comes down to a large room and a great seating plan. Well some drama just can’t be avoided, it sure helps to plan your seating chart accordingly. Make sure you have enough guests to break up the seating so the opposing family members don’t have to seat too close together. Secondly don’t let your family be the focus of the day. Trust me the drama will still be there long after your big day. Focus only on each other and what this day represents to you both.
-Tyangela Hunter, Beautiful Dream Events
“Weddings require a lot of careful planning. What are some of the more common aspects of a wedding that brides and grooms forget to prepare for?”
Truth is, the mere mention of the word tip or gratuity may seem like a faux pas to many wedding vendors. As such, this area is often overlooked by brides and grooms. You’re hosting the most important event as you start your lives together. The staff of your wedding vendors will work hard to make sure it all comes together effortlessly on your part. While tipping your wedding vendors is never a requirement, it’s acceptable for rewarding exceptional service. We’re sure you’ve hired a stellar team of wedding vendors with staff that will go above and beyond to ensure your vision is accomplished. Don’t forget to prepare for tipping exemplary service!
–Precious Nuptials & Destinations
As couples are planning and preparing for a wedding, one of the main things they forget to plan for is the unexpected. You can spend months of planning and envisioning how your wedding will be, but it’s most important to be prepared for worst case scenarios such as weather changes, sudden illness of a bridal party member, the vendor messed up something in the delivery, wrong song order during ceremony etc etc. The reality is that a big event such as a wedding has so much potential for disasters because it’s dependent upon so many people and factors in order to flow smoothly. Stay cool and plan for anything to happen, be prepared and on top of everything, but most importantly remember no matter what happens, it’s your wedding day! Have fun and enjoy it no matter how crazy and unexpected the outcome may be.
-Megan Miletello, Vision Weddings
Compiled by Houston Party Ride